God Save the Bored

A post that was supposed to be more about Psalm 91

I’m just writing this because I need to do something. I’m feeling restless. Why do I feel restless? Because I have done little in the past few days. That’s not a bad thing, but it leads to this restless feeling, which leads me to do something. So, I’m writing this.

That’s a fancy way of saying I’m bored.

There’s something strange about boredom. It’s as if silence and stillness are inherently bad. Boredom is painful. Like it hurts to exist, and we distract ourselves from this pain constantly.

But we also admire people who can endure the pain of existing. People who can sit still for an extended period without looking at their phones. People who meditate for long stretches. Writers.

Usually, pain is a signal that something dangerous is happening. Is there danger in stillness? What are we avoiding by entertaining ourselves constantly? If we ignored the pain of boredom, and explored the depths of eternal nothingness, what would we find? Something dangerous? Something transformative? Our repressed feelings? Nothing?

It could be an evolutionary thing. People who were content to sit around doing nothing all the time were more likely to run out of food and starve. The ones who experienced boredom, and avoided it, survived.

I brought up danger because Psalm 91 is another psalm that comforts the reader. Assures us that God will keep us safe. Will God keep us safe from the pain of boredom?

The psalmist certainly did not have that question in mind. As with the entire Old Testament, the context is a war-torn region of small competing kingdoms, with occasional empires rising and falling. Not to mention “pestilence” and “plague”. Boredom is the least of their concerns.

In modern life, what we do when we’re bored seems decisively important. We could work on a “side hustle” that slowly becomes our primary source of income and changes our life. We could engage in activism and become the next Greta Thunberg. We could play video games and waste our life away. We could do something creative. We could meditate and become enlightened.

These are things we can do when we’re not required to do anything else. In other words, when we’re bored.

This is all a very modern phenomenon. I don’t think the word “bored” appears in the Bible at all.

I suppose if we were truly connected with God, there would be no such thing as boredom. What could be more fulfilling than simply enjoying the presence of God? There is no pain in breathing God’s breath, in and out, in every moment. There is only bliss. Why would we need anything else?

Or maybe a connection with God brings knowledge of exactly what to do at every moment to usher in the kingdom of heaven. God whispering in your ear. But probably not.

Will God keep us safe from the pain of boredom? Such a privileged question to ask. How dare I even ask it when people all around the world are dying from starvation and war. I should be ashamed of myself. If I’m bored, maybe I should help these people for God’s sake.

Maybe the pain of boredom is the pain of knowing people are suffering all around the world. When we do nothing, we make room for the collective unconscious. A theory for which I have no evidence.

I apologize for not referencing Psalm 91 very much.

Will God keep us safe from the pain of boredom? Maybe he wants to, but we won’t let him. We cling to the false idea that we must do something. We must earn our right to exist. Because deep down we don’t deserve to be alive. Could be a self-worth issue.

And when we don’t know what to do, we are ashamed because we know there is so much to do. This shame might lead us to entertainment, because shame is pain and entertainment is pleasure. Or it might lead us to JUST DO SOMETHING, whether we like it or not.

If God wanted me to do something, why don’t I know what to do?

I’m writing this article. And I’m doubting whether writing this article is the right thing to do. I’m doubting all my attempts to alleviate boredom. Which, when you come to think of it, might be most of my life. Just picking something to do because I don’t enjoy doing nothing.

I don’t know if any of my choices are the correct ones. Sometimes I stew in the boredom, doing nothing. Usually, I do something. Sometimes I do something good, I think. I have been safe enough from pestilence and plague and invading armies, but not boredom. God has not alleviated the pain of boredom for me. I decide what to do with this boredom, whether to go deeper into it, or avoid it. I don’t know what’s right, but I decide anyway, and maybe that’s what faith is.